So it was me being lazy, but wanting to post something none the less.
Woop. Anyway, I'm graduating soon. My last day is Wednesday, graduation on the 24th. I'm looking forward to it. I have to admit though, I'm a bit stressed; what's new? I don't have a job yet. I'm not sure how much money I'll make this summer, hopefully enough to pay for college. If not, loans here I come... I'm also just a bit scared of leaving school. It's all I've known, all my life. It's almost like a security blanket that I'm finally going to have to deal without. For the first time in my life, I won't be coming back to school after the summer. It's weird, scary and exciting, but most of all, I'm hit by unending melancholy. It seems to be the dominant emotion of my life. Melancholy. It's better than sorrow or fear I suppose. I've always got good times to remember, old friends to think about, amazing adventures that I'll never forget. Every time I think about my past though, I just get a little bit sad too. I know it won't be back, but I wish it would. So much. There is so much I wish I could experience again, so much I wish i could have done differently, knowing what I know now. I've always felt a little like I missed out on a true childhood, and it never bothered me too much, but now that I'm faced with becoming an adult, I'm scared shitless. I'm scared and I wish I could have had more time as a kid.
Just a few more years.
Please...
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1 comment:
i love you. i want and need you to know this. ive loved you for a long time. its sad that this must be the way i tell you. but i know that if i were to tell you, face to face, nothing would come of it.
maybe youll find out who this is. maybe you wont. if anything, just know that there is someone out there, loving you unconditionally.
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